The Self Isolating

It's never been easy. Period.
--
Just now on my first day of work-from-home. I caught up in a random conversation with my old friend through DM. It was as simple as:
"I miss you! When do we catch up again?" that leads to many feelings.

Actually, this writing is also triggered by today's horoscope told me about redefining relationship with fear as a fuel. Still, I don't know how to pull me off out of these feelings.

I have to acknowledge that my mind was in a mess for these past few months. People, probably it's the area that most consuming. I feel frightened. I expect someone to do the same but then I blame myself for not giving enough to a certain person. I've lost count on how many times I suffered to manage my actions or feelings toward someone. But it's fine and this process, foremost, a worth skill that I would be thankful for. I will describe my self as a pinata that ready to burst and remember those times when you didn't put the barrier, Fay?

I didn't remember our last meeting it's nearly 4 years ago and that's why I scrolled through our duet video cover and my mind was mumbling: When was the last time I feel what this girl felt? When everything's just nice and simple, you didn't feel the urge to be heard or the need for judgment, appraisal, and kinds of stuff. You just did and felt happy about it.

We' re human after all is probably the catchphrase that I keep remind. Working 9 to 7, 2 hours of commuting, everyday's tasks and problems in our office that waiting to be solved. Many times we become too attached to it.

There were those days when I tangled my self with endless meetings, countless deadlines, or (probably) self issues. And there are times when I suddenly catch the good old times and able to re-visit that feeling any time again. Being contemplated about this is an eye-opening that you always have a chance to create more good times in advance because not everything is gonna last forever right?

As for today, I am surrounding myself with the things that I love.
Neither is bad or good just simply live and you'll find the answer.





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